How a Simple Trick from a Jewel Interview (Yep, The Singer From The 90s) Helped Me Rewire My Tough Days
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Back in 2021, I read an interview with Jewel, the 90s singer. (I LOVED her then and I still love her.)
She was telling her story about going from a young woman - confused, stealing, and figuring out life - to someone who was actively trying to get more in touch with herself.
In one part, she said:
I began to develop tools and tricks for myself to cultivate awareness, and with time, was able to successfully replace stealing with writing. It didn’t feel all that great initially. Writing was pretty boring compared to stealing. Plus writing urged me toward my pain, rather than away from it. But with time, moving toward my pain became rewarding, because through observation and understanding, it began to become less intense, and with time had less and less power over my life. Writing gave me a calm and open high, whereas stealing was a contracted, tight one.
Then:
I began to notice I had two basic states of being: dilated and contracted, and every thought, feeling, or action led to one of those two states. That single observation changed my life. I had a blueprint for rewiring my behavior and solving my anxiety. I divided a journal into two sections labeled dilated and contracted.
I realized I could make my way out of a contracted state just by engaging in something on my dilated list—and it worked!
She then shares a screenshot of her list, and shares how it helped her move forward in a more mindful manner.
In my state it was hard to see what to be grateful for, but I had learned enough to know that being observant and curious in the moment is what cultivates presence, so I focused on my surroundings.
You can read the whole interview here. (It’s great, and free to read.)
I love this.
I immediately created a list based on this framework for my own life, and I’ve literally had it pinned in my Google Keep Notes under the name ‘Jewels’ since then. It’s simple but powerful, and, (ahem, when I remember to refer to it), it always works.
If you want to try it for yourself, just fill out these prompts:
DILATED
I feel good when I do:
I feel good when I think:
I feel when I am feeling:
CONTRACTED
I feel bad when I do:
I feel bad when I think:
I feel bad when I am feeling:
I whipped up a free worksheet for you, no email required. Just click the link and hit ‘copy’ and you’ll get your own Google Doc to work from.
